the most beautiful thing: feet sand rock
Mi tiempo con las rocas es feliz y tranquilo.
I don’t know if the words out of my mouth are good enough yet, even in their childlike simplicity. I don’t know if my accent will ever be even sub-par. I don’t know how long I will be able to walk this shore time and again with heart settling into cells as feet settle into sand. Pull step, settle, breathe, push, pull, settle, breathe, push, pull, settle. Settle. I do not know how much I will ever settle in. Anywhere. But I do know the weight of my own steps on sand, the weight releasing and repeating requests for give, for movement, for permission to continue.
And I know the weight of my own body on the rocks. Left to my own devices, I leverage this soft mass to and fro, holding on and letting go, from boulder to boulder, watching sky to sea to stone and back again. And I know what it is to believe in the traction of my own feet, my scratched knees, my seeking hands, my supportive, tolerating legs. I know what it is to take the path less traveled down and through instead of up and over. I know what it is to brace softly on the barnacled edge of the sea in the face of the uncertain surf. And I know what it is to laugh high and joyfully, belly laughing at the sheer glee of the sea spray on my face, its whistling sweet song roaring in my ears, its warning and invitation. Nothing is funny, and everything is sheer joy. So much joy that there is nowhere else to stow it, so it bubbles, flies, flings itself up and out of my mouth. I tumble inside my self, a summersault of happiness.
Then, quieted by the volume of it all, the edge, seductive in its innocence, beckons and foam swells. I never know where the wind will come from, or just how hard the wave will crash. So, smiling, I thank the sea for the fun time and crab crawl back up around and through and over and down and back again to dryer, softer, more giving ground.
Pull step, settle, breathe, push, pull, settle. Breathe. Push. Pull. Settle. Settle. Sweet settle breathe.
Photo by me of the sunset at Play Ritoque just beyond my bouldering spot…