the most beautiful dream: lucid stationary flight
There are a hand full of dreams I remember over the years. There’s a terrifying dream from age seven that is almost as real as the night I woke up drenched and sweating from it. There’s a dream I once had of a very loving Buddhist teacher whose cloak coated my every last anxiety and wish for love. There’s the one that was simply swinging high above the willow trees. And then there is this one – perhaps the most potent and informing dream I have ever had (thus far).
The preamble is lost on me, but the scene that stays is a full-screen bitter conversation with a man I had been dating off and on for a small handful of years. I remember arguing for him to understand my logic, to just see it outside his box, and from inside mine. It was intellectual rage and consuming… and then suddenly it was as if my eyes opened in the dream and in the same moment I realized I could and would never convince him of a different reality than his own that I also realized I was dreaming. I woke up to the reality of the futility of fighting him, and woke up to my own true surroundings. And the biggest, brightest smile filled my face, then up!
In that moment, I was free of the binds I wrapped around myself with the things I thought were him. I was free from the need to argue. I was free from the need to have both feet planted firmly on the ground. And in the instant that I knew I could do anything, it was flight I chose. In the first half of the mere moment, I crouched and in the second half I pushed myself up and everything else out into fathomless space and I was flying! Bright blue sky filled my lungs and pure joy pulsed through every cell. I flew and flew, over cities and clouds, over my own anchors and the ties that bind that are actually really quite flimsy things after all. And the exhilaration and ecstasy were born of simple, spacious peace. Peace and clarity.
This dream comes to mind from time to time, as a gift again and again as it was then. Waking then from the lucid dream of sudden freedom brought from insight, I awake too a little bit now from the walking life of arguing for other’s points of view, and my own. If only a moment, the moment is free and there is flight here where I sit quietly typing. And if I remember often enough, the moments will bleed into each other to relax every last bit of it all enough to be sitting in sweet open-heartedness, as open-heartness in all of the waking and sleeping. A most beautiful dream, indeed, and reality, too.
This post was inspired by a talk by Candice O’Denver, founder of Great Freedom and Balanced View work is dedicated to my dear friend David Levin in appreciation of all of his love for the world and for the parts of that shower that graciously fall on me.
~ by HeatherArtLife on August 24, 2010.