the most beautiful thing: magnet
I am wearing magnetic insoles in my shoes. I am sleeping between magnetic fields under me and above me, lent me by a very well-meaning friend to give me a deeper rest, a more freely self-healing body. I feel the difference as I lay within the charge. My cells light up.
The first time I stepped on the magnetic insoles, I felt a fever of bubbles up from my feet to my head and touching all points in between. It was much like being on the table and having a gifted sacral-cranial healer place his hands on my head. It is much like being touched by you.
You are the magnet I’ve been longing for. You pull me towards a self I’ve not fully embraced, a world I’ve never felt completely comfortable in, a land I would give my all to dwell in. With you, my feet are here on the ground, on an earth I’m happy to be in. With you, my worries are pulled inside out and back again.
Long ago, you were the magnet that pulled me to earth and closed the door forever on my twilight escape, left them unable to reach me, kept me from falling off the face of this place. You anchored me like a stake into the ground. Your hands, your warm breath, your eyes. Your eyes spoke of mysteries right here to see and to have, of pleasures untold and torments unspeakable, of journeys to be had if only we could take them. We took what we could.
Now, your eyes anchor me again in the knowing that love is alive and is present, is capable of bridging the void, of mending the wound, of giving us the minerals needed to forge our own fate. I have never been willing to fight for something so hard, my magnet charged by your words and the would-be f0rtune. I pull and pull. I pull on the sky, the water, the earth, the wind, the fires burning deep. I pull on their blessings, I pull on their favor. I pull on angel’s wings and faerie’s feet. I forage and I pull.
More than anything, I pull on my own heart. I pull hard to release the compassion needed to make this voyage. I pull hard on true love that knows nothing of self. I pull hard to find the courage to keep stepping into and up to the challenge of your gaze. I find it, somehow I find it, and here in the places discovered by the pull, the magnetic ore is lain wide open, rich to the core with gifts for the taking. And for the having.