tmbt: the body
I had a moment of sheer heartbreak today – a despondent, anxious, troubling heartbreak – that, were it not for the people all around, would have brought me to my knees. Instead, I breathed. I breathed long and deep and though the anxiety rode the breath into near-panic, it kept me right there, but my body was sort of missing. I think in this day and age of so much stimuli and upset, we have probably all learned to disassociate from time to time at varying degrees, to leave our bodies and drift even just a little left of the present. I am no exception and have found the key to be my body. Stay in the body, and I’m here. Today, as my breath was feeding the anxiety, I bee-lined it for the creek. Cold, bracing, loud, rushing, it swallowed my feet with a near-painful chill and “aahhhh” the body was right here with me. It takes something sometimes, it takes effort and strategy and relentless commitment to face heartbreak. For me, this beautiful, whole, steadfast body is one of the most useful tools I have to do that. And, of course, it really helps to have a cold, snow-fed creek!