tmbt: six months quiet, loud enough
Six months is a long time to be quiet about you. Six months fill up with a lot of days, those with hours and still I know not where the time has gone. Have I seen enough? Have I noticed everything? Have you felt me there, your body mine, mine yours? Has this six months of up and down and all around been the best start for your life?
Six months is a long time to be quiet about you, but I have not been so quiet. I have wailed and sang out, spoken softly and yelled with a ferociousness I had not seen before. I have not been so quiet in my thoughts either. I have been filled filled filled to the brim with love and agony and adoration and worry, and I have imagined so much and so far, climbing into the moments and swimming out of them past the deep end and under a sky filled with very, but very bright stars.
Six months is a long time to get to know someone when it is filled with so many days and them with hours close and closer and closer still. I give of my body, but is it enough? I give of my time, but is it enough? I give of my heart space, my mind room, my wish lists. You are my dear dear joy and it seems six months, long as it is, has not yet been enough time.
Six months is only the beginning of a great long life filled with more hours than we can count, which fill up days we may think we can imagine, all along ticking away moments of glimpses and reckonings, of presences and flight. I relish in your spirit, breath deep your scent and smile, and thank whoever it is that gives us the gift of time for these fleeting, blessing, bruising, enlightening six months. And I thank them again for whatever more I may have with you, sweet flower of my soul and womb.